An Accounting of the Moste Aunicent Ancestries of the Familie McFritz,

Part the Second: Being that Which Concerneth the Parenteage

Of Our most Noble Benefactress And Mother:

Kaiterin,Hand-Maiden of Orkney.

Humbly penned by Ewart MacFritz In the Year of Oure Lorde, 1598.

And it came to pass in those days that Hrath and his wife Kait grew tired of their heathenish life, pillaging and pilfering their daily needs from those who liveth on the greater part of the mainland of the Scottisce people. Kait crieth piteously unto her beloved Hrath, " Verily, my husbonde, looketh yee at the like of your several sons, how they grow wilder and more lawless with each day that pafseth under the sun. Wouldst thou see them grow up lawlefs, landlefs men, as thyself?" Wherewith Hrath replieth, "In sooth, to go a-viking was meet enough for my sire and great grand sires into antiquity, back to the flood, and it shall do for me and mine, woman!"

Whereat, Kait, having set her considerable powers of concentracion on a change, would not be difsuaded from her planne and purpose, smote Hrath a great clout alongside his ear and jaw, so large were her capable hands, that he spilleth from his chair, and pitcheth headlong onto the floor. "Answer me not in this way of thine antiquity, thou great malodorous lout! For we shall change and wax more respectable or thy skin shall feel the lack!"

So it dawned upon this manne, as he layeth stunned on the floor that he saw the way that he shouldst take from this mire. Yea, verily, the blowe was sufficient enow to bestow upon him the first steppe that he should take. So gathering himself up to his full height, though his head still stung with the realization of his need, called his sons to him, yea and his daughters as well.

"Hearken unto me, my own seed. This day shall mark a change in us all, that shall begin with an honoringe and recognizing of thine own mother as my true wife, whom I shall at long last take to be my mate and boon companione in the eyes of the world at large, especially that world of our adopted home and the church. In great haste, I shall find a priest to us marrye that yee all may witnesseth the change in our state."

Then turneth he to his eldest son, saying " Go, therefore, Hrankneld my son and prepareth our seaworthy craft that we may steal cows for the wedding feast." Whereat Kait crieth aloud and smote her own foreheade and fell into a swoon, no doubt from Joye.

Of the Lord of the Isles

And His Part in the Proceedings.

And so it was, that weatheringe stormy blast and the deadly beasts of the surging sea, Hrath and his sons saileth the few scant miles to the mainland in search of beeves, coming upon a great many of them grazing on a pleasant hillside near by the outpouring of an highland river into the Greater Flood. Hrath, thinketh to himself that the twilight hour of their arrival was a propitious tyme for the stealing of a beef animal or two for the feast, as the stalwart warriors of the stately hall were more likely to be imbibing ale and meade and their own joints of roast at that moment than standing guard. Putte he, therefore, ashore as the land allowed in preparation for taking their needs.

He recked not of the other boats, great, sleek crafts of the Lord of the Isles, harbored further up the river also preparing to gather beeves here to other purposes. He recked not on the idea that these very beeves were here placed by those of the great MacDonald clan, having been liberated from their former owners to swell the offerings of this great Lord of menne.

Coming back to his boats, which by then he suspected were in sore need of bailing, leaketh they so, he found that a great company of tall, armed warriors had taken charge of their boats and, moreover, hastened their tendency to sink by adding copious rents of their own, so that now the keel of Hraths sea­farer grated heavily against the river's bottom and the worm eaten maste stood forlornly, waving in the pull of the flood.

Then, greatly wroth was Hrath, that a greater Hrath Wroth was never seen in him by his sons. He quivereth and steweth, with rolling eyes, pulling at his own beard and scanty hair so that his sons thought him near to apoplexy, at least they would have done if they knew what apoplexy was. Rest assured, though, that in their ignorance, they yet knew great fear and wonder at their father. Then, gathering himself in his rage, he approacheth the Lord of these men, he who stood tall and strong at their front, addressing him, thus: "Sinketh thou my boats, wilt thou, thou base fouling maggot; I'll rive thee and all thy men into bloody ribbons!!" quothe he with much vigor and excessive spittle. " I'll hack thee asunder with my ancient brande!!. Just thou waitheth there, thou rump fed runion, and I'll skewer thee and thy mates as the great Poofs that ye bee!" At which his sons, abandoning their borrowed beeves, hastened to his aid, unarmed as they were.

In all of this, the great warriore, richly adorned as befits a great lord of men, stood unmoving, unmoved by the harsh words of the old guidman before him, his smile waxing the broader as it became obvious in appearance that his opponent's trusty blade was rusted tight in its scabbard. Watcheth he further as the old man's sons seek to aid him in the removal of the sword, several tugging at the scabbard, while those smaller ones helpeth their father at the hilts' end to no avail. Worthily soon, they commenceth to roll on the turf in their struggle, smiting one another lustily in their frustracione with the sword.

Soon, that great lord of the MacDonald clan, and his doughty companions, were equally involved in the enjoyment of the jest being played out before them. This, having the effect of enraging our great progenitor even more. He gave over the struggle of the sword in full to his perspiring sons, in order to run headlong at the MacDonald men, howling and gibbering imprecations in his rage as he came.

Verily, though a tall old man, the notable if not so noble Hrath, was not overlarge nor burly so that running full front into his grinning foes, he rebounded fully a length of his body, nay twice that, back the way he came. So whilst he layeth there, having lost his wind, his sons at last managed to bring to him his great, if worthily rusted blade. His ancient blade thus before him, Hrath renewed his assault on his foes, only to be kept back from the object of his rage by the front of lengthy ash spears which in the hands of his still grinning liegemen, sprung worthily quicke to the defense of their lord. At which the Lord of the Isles, recovering somewhat his ability to speak, spoke words of placation.

"Let me not be the object of thy anger longer, guid old manne, but be befriended by me, Angus Og, Lord of the Isles, chief of these MacDonald warriors which even now hem you in with their spears. Thou hast made me laugh in a dark time, as dark as any I or my clansmen have known in the years of our lives. I would gladly restore to thee thy ship and, yea, even some few beeves, if for not else, than for the sake of thy great bravery in the face of so many foes but especially that thou hast made me laugh!

"Great must be your need to be so bold and daring. Speak your needs to me, that I can return the joy you have brought me by granting some favor in return. ...Speak, I say! What wouldst thou and thy stalwart retainers have? Why come you thus to steal those cows which I have but lately liberated?

Hrath, puzzled by this response but in no wise unaware of the quality of the warrior before him, spoke thus: "Indeed, I Hrath of the Isles would only claim your friendship and request your presence at the marriage between myself and the mother of these, my worthy sons," he intoned, gesturing to his dazed and somewhat unintelligent seeming sons, who stood scratching themselves in an effort to keep abreast with the developments in the conversacione.

This seemeth to strike the aforesaid MacDonald and his men with renewed peals of laughter, so that Hrath wondered if he should take offense again. However, being a jolly sort of wight at heart, Hrath and his sons, through his prodding, begain to laugh along with their new friends, smiting them on their shoulders and being smitten happily in return.

 Thus it came to pafs that Hrath and his beloved Kait, their sons, and their few straggling and bedraggled retainers made a great feast of marriage, with the help of an aged, priest, an hermit in the tradicione of St. Brendan—along with his wife and copious children—in the company of the Lord of the Isles, Angus Og and his doughty retainers. Indeed, Angus Og even claimed a right of blood to give away the bride. For upon his arrival and being told his name and titles, Kait ventured to ask if this noble Lord were the rightful son of Angus Mhor.   This confirmed full gladly Angus Og, so Kait sayeth unto him: "Know, great Lord of the Isles, that thy father was mine as well, as my mother hath oft told me in confidence, saying that he came upon her at night in a time of great merry-making and revelry and tasking her in her innocence, left her me to remember him by. So that now thy lookst at a sister. Even if the taking of my mother was only his right by force." At this, The Lord of the Isle crofseth his arms, stroketh his noble beard and looketh Kait up and down.

"If," sayeth Angus with a bit of a twinkle in his eye, the description of thee and thy mother share qualities of form, eye, and...er...smile, then she wasawoman about whom my father told a different tale!" "Indeed!" quoth Kail, wondering to feel affronted, "what tale is that, noble lord?" "Why Kait, my newest friend," saith Angus Og, "his story told of her seeking him out, coming to his bed in the dark of night forcing her will upon him, after a night of great drinking and revelry!"

At this, Kait blushed prettily and smiled as prettily as she could, saying, "Verily that sounds the very descriptionne of the old baggage as I knew her to bee! 1 think thou has the right of it!" Then Angus Og begged right to give away the bride. Then, in brotherly fashion, he embraced both his new found sister and her new wedde manne in his arms, crying " Welcome home then, wife, husbonde, and children! Long may the fortunes of the sons of Hrath wax strong!"

"Nay!" saith Hrath. "Say rather the sons of Frith, for he was my sire and these all are of him and bear the stamp of his features and those of his line."

"Verily, then, guid kinsmen, well found and well met. Take thou this from me and mine: that hereafter though shalt be called by a new name, MacFriths, from this time forward in the Kingdoms of the Isles of the North. Long may thy line bear this name as one of hospitality and good times! And long may it be before fortune sunders our bonding as kinsmen!" And thus it came to pass that the clan took its first name from the heart of  that great lord. And, as shall be shewn hereafter, in their many….er...adventures, how they ever bore, through the grace of their mother and father both, a reputacione not to be outshone in revelry and merry-making by any clan under heaven.